Mariam Ahmed

"I was born in Leeds, to a white mother and an Asian father, so my childhood wasn’t the easiest, with the constant conflicts in how to bring me up, family disputes and various other issues. So I was brought up very confused, not knowing really where I belonged, what was right or wrong as both cultures heavily clashed with one another. I went to a primary school, which was ok. I felt as though for once I fitted in. In school I felt ‘normal’ compared to feeling left out at home, not worthwhile, as not once had the feeling of love from any of my family been shown to me. I didn’t understand affection.

I then started secondary school, which was complicated as I knew myself I was different, I was dual heritage and wouldn’t fit in, but I did and not as I expected. I assumed I would fit in with the Asian young people but I fitted in with the white and in turn got abuse from the others. This was a difficult period and the one thing that got me by was my love for sports and keeping myself busy studying and occasionally with friends.

I was studying for my GCSEs when I first realised that there was a problem. I felt upset constantly and not wanting to be here, not eating, with religion thrown upon me and feeling like there was no purpose to my life. I went through my exams with grades that were good, though I felt with the constant pressure threat from family I could do better.

I had to get out as I was killing myself, not eating, self harming and the like, and then came the prospect of a forced marriage. This was the final straw for me, though up until the final planning stage I was willing to go through with it for the sake of my mum. I no longer could and ran away from home. I spent time on the streets till I eventually lived in a women’s refuge. This was ok I suppose though, I was still feeling upset and desolate with no-one there and just loads of problems.

Now I've moved out, achieved A Levels, won Young Citizen of the Year, I am living on my own, travelling the world (going to Peru), and part of the Youth Parliament. The world is my oyster, a lot more positive, anything can be done, and it's only through perseverance and battling through that I have got here, pretty much 18½ years of pain and hardship and now things are brightening.

In Peru I will be working with the community near Lima and young children doing some work renovating nursery schools etc..., and also teaching English and doing drama and sports workshops."

Since Mariam wrote this she has been to Peru and has got a great story to tell. Check out her Peruvain Experience here!